@kitsch that doesn't make it nonexistence

i think what's bothering me is that 'kitsch' no longer has anywhere new to grow.
and [i might've mentioned this before?] taking it away doesn't leave me with much of anything to define myself. and without anything to make it worth trying to have myself present in the world.
which tells me i... need to... do /something/ offline, or away from here, which is what i've been needing to do anyway, and i haven't by now so i probably never will.
uh.
kitschness is natural enough, but at least this week or so, feels equally like it's a... front? something distinct, not the center.
but maybe i'm just extra fucked up in this way recently.