i think i probably don't have a 'real' name.
like, the reason i usually like the names Kitsch and Fidget are because they're well-established for me in communities and with people who i feel comfortable and open with. they're not "true" names, but i'm prideful of them.
and, until i can be comfortable with anyone offline, and/or be in a job environment that doesn't grate horribly and doesn't remind me of the parents, there won't be any names i can use offline that won't feel actively bad.
names Afficher plus
this is complicated a little by the urge to have "layers" of names as protection:
a name to use in shitty job environments that i hate being associated with. (ideally i'd use a throwaway name but that's not possible offline unfortunately.)
another for people offline who i'm amiable with but not comfortable with yet.
one or two for online, depending on the service or community's acceptance level.
but i think that's a secondary factor. the associations and environments are the main thing.
... and of course i still love getting nicknames all the time always nicknames are so good