in the past, when there's been constant, inscrutible, misery-making feelings like that... there's usually some specific cause behind it. having the wrong hormones in my brain. shitty shaming parenting. dust mite allergies.
so i can /hope/ that, like the others, there's some simple thread to pull on that will unravel this and bring another layer of clarity.
maybe that's what i want to be looking for. if i can?