afraid, lonely, in danger of floating away. no parental figures would help me. they could have, so so easily, but they wouldn't even acknowledge my fear, and always met me with confused disinterest, apathy and absence, or accusatory fury.
i could always feel the darkness that filled our home and made every direction into eternity, and i knew it would some day draw me in or simply pull me away gently, and there would be no returning, and then i'd be even more alone, and lost, and unheard.