Kara Dreamer (obsolete) ⚧ @kara_dreamer@witches.town
obsolete account, please follow @kara
homophobia, lesser Top Gear asshole Afficher plus
"i have a problem with the mastodon dot social community"
"great open your own instance"
"i shouldn't have to do that"
"w-we can't solve this problem through more tech?? how can this be"
can I say that it's *really distressing* to hear POC say that they might as well leave mastodon.
Not distressing as in "I'm made anxious by hearing their complaint", (though it does make me anxious), "and wish I didn't have to hear their complaints"
It's distressing that we haven't made a space that listens to their voices and that things are bad enough that "I might as well go back to TWITTER" makes sense, like twitter is a more welcoming place for them.
THAT'S A PROBLEM
3. I am *terrified* of being a nuisance or appearing foolish, and I'm a mass of poor coping mechanisms for this gnawing fear. my tendency is to appear to be satisfied with confusing or difficult-to-grasp instruction and hope to muddle through down the line. this is especially bad when I'm being dispatched to an unfamiliar location far removed from anyone I can depend upon for support or correction. I'll go off to try to sort it out myself then be forced to retreat, too baffled to continue.
2. I learn practical skills poorly by reading and by verbal explanation. I have to be shown, and I have to touch things, to learn them best. one of the more senior guys is pretty good at walking me through procedures, and I learn better from him; the other guy (who was the only guy I could get direction from today) tends towards rushed explanations of the "it's really easy, just do this and this and this, got it?" sort. Which brings me to...
I have the following particular difficulties that make my job harder:
1. I tend to extreme literalism when interpreting speech, particularly under stress and in unfamiliar circumstances, so ambiguous directions that rely heavily on context known only to the speaker ("it's the one on your left!" *looks and sees a half-dozen possibilities to my left*) reduce me to confusion.
i see ppl on birdsite calling that will and grace show a look into gay culture but i've always thought it was just a look into bourgeoisie culture lol
Train facts: If trains had hands, they would draw perfect circles all the time!!
I feel like work is making my odd cognitive difficulties more...well, difficult. Now I don't have any true idea of whether I've got any definite syndrome...all I know is, I'm getting very frustrated by imprecise communication where I'm expected to interpret vague directions ("put this one in that one", pointing quickly to a diagram, as if that were sufficient) or pick up on _ad hoc_ changes in a routine that I've only just barely learned to memorize in its default form.
not doing great today. feeling my Odd One Out status just a bit much, looking for comfort where I can find it
image - http://spewpew.tumblr.com/post/135171783228/more-sleeping-undertale-woooo https://witches.town/media/vgexNXGArJB7ycbaGbs
Oh if you are in uni and studying compsci or a relating field, send me your assignments and any other materials if you want, I really want to make some decent education materials and share them for free, learning from stuff that already exists
(also I want to study and can't afford to go to uni)
@kara_dreamer "y'know, this is rapidly becoming my favorite Tom Waits track."
I'd better try to sleep. Worried about work tomorrow, about therapy stuff, about lost time and old wounds and the haunted ruins of decayed relationships...and yet I feel not badly off
gnite everyone, stay healthy
Life fucks with everyone, experience (if you're trans) can wreck you. The trick is remembering who you were before the storm and fighting for that person, to be *that* person. Treasure them. Then, no matter what comes along, you'll weather the storms.
spiders are hella cute
https://www.cnbc.com/2017/09/27/hugh-hefner-iconic-founder-of-playboy-has-died-at-age-91.html well, this is a thing that just happened
@kara_dreamer responding to random posts on the federated timeline
I'm also going to add
5. Going to scholar.google.com and typing in stuff like "quantitative precipitation niobium tannic acid" and seeing what papers come up, and then using sci-hub.cc to read them. But I don't think this is a commonplace activity.