@kara_dreamer I wish I had constructive input for this. I never had a crossdresser phase in my life. I figured out I was trans from processing my thoughts and feelings. That I felt nothing usually, but a profound sadness when myself in a suit, that I made castration jokes for reasons nobody understood, and that longing I felt when I'd stumble across a HRT timeline.

So it was hard to develop my aesthetic. The first times I dressed as a woman, it felt really uncomfortable and weird, because I felt like it amplified everything that was wrong, and connected me to a body that itself didn't fit. All I can say is, experiment and be strong.

@ikea_femme yeah, that's kinda the same with me, only I've spent longer at trying to convince myself I wasn't worth the effort of trying to look good. I've tried to fade into the background for so long...I don't know *how* to look any other way.

@kara_dreamer Yeah, that's what sucks. The way I explain it to the cis is, when you look in the mirror on a bad day, you feel ugly. When I look in the mirror on a bad day, my brain pretends I'm not real.