jennifer katherine @jenkshields@witches.town

Some of this is kinda in opposition to staying at work I guess but. Work is a compromise where I've taken these things into account

Someone I follow on birdsite has been talking about a new year thing about being themselves and keeping cared ones close and calling themselves out along with toxicity in their circles and I've been admiring and thinking and I think it's influenced a lot today

I mean it's why I've been holding off on new work projects until we found out: I don't trust the board or who they'd put in place to maintain those relationships and keep those people and communities safe

I think it's also partly an obligation to what we did last year, especially what we did despite board interference. The exhibition with the mana whenua collective went really well and our (staff) relationships with them are really strong. For one

I think i'm gonna do it. I've been thinking about who I wanna be and part of that is acting in good faith, as naive as it may be here. But I also think the thing that'll be best for my health long term is to pay off debt and try save, and reassess and look at other opportunities along the way

I feel a lot better than I did this morning. Friend I work with had a decompress and talked about options, I vented to auds, had a relaxing evening - but a big part of that was also the response and validation here, so thank you 💕

Oh god I can't even describe the feeling of other people going "yeah that's shit probably don't trust them to stop" like goddamn. Professional context gaslighting is hell

Thank you for responses, it means a lot 💕 I'm blobbed on couch high with whiskey and ubereats is coming

Sorry for the long thread but it's done: if you feel like reading this is a summary of the fucked up shit that's happened at work this past year that I am currently trying to deal with. If you have advice/sympathies pls weigh in

I guess there's a third option of me just. Sticking it out there until another option arises but like. To be clear this job is definitely affecting my health and it is fucking me up.

So. We're both stuck: either this gamble of going for the jobs and hoping, or the gamble of trying to find other jobs while we try start our own space

I guess the other big thing is arts jobs are super limited and competitive here and though a year's experience here is good it's nowhere near enough...

The other problem is I don't know if it's just this job that is making fibro hell or if it's all full time work and I need to be part time. I don't know if I wanna take that risk but there aren't really many other options

Problem is the new roles are 18mo fixed term because it's experimental: if the experiment doesn't go well we'd almost certainly lose the jobs. Tricky thing is: if we get those two jobs and the board let us actually do the jobs without interfering we'd absolutely kill it. But if they continue how they have (interfering, gaslighting, causing shit with our collaborators and artists) the experiment will almost defs fail.

Ideal situation is the two of us as director and programming and running the place. It's possible. Problem is neither of us trust the board to not micromanage and cause shit like they have all year

Our comms pal is gone, no way around it. I could definitely transition into the new ops manager role, and can do the programming manager if they'll let me. My friend (our curator) could transition into prog manager but could absolutely do the exec director role if they'll let them

It was out of fuckin nowhere: they're reserving a HUGE sum in case shit goes bad so they can keep the building, they're reserving another significant sum for future programming, they're slashing programming costs and restructuring to something completely new: 3 full time staff, that's it

All last week any inquiries we sent through were either ignored or just a "we'll talk next week." Meeting was today, we walked in blind thinking a) they'll go through with the original proposal b) they'll accept our suggestions c) they'll shut the place down

That date rolls around, they definitely didn't meet at work, we assume they haven't at all OR they're being deliberately secretive bc sth bad is coming. While we're still on summer leave, we get an email informing us of a meeting and would we please be there, nothing else. Meeting is second week back (today)

Our jobs are secure til end of Feb, they'll get back to us asap. November rolls around, another meeting, no decision, jobs now safe til end of march. Board due to meet 14 Dec