✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme@witches.town

I think it's just that the uniforms are cute. I just need to find another job with cute uniforms.

I'm this close to asking a navy recruiter to elaborate on whatever the fuck he meant that my transition "must be done 18 months" before I'd enlist.

Also, I find it weird I can be such an obnoxious leftist online, but really fall for the naval officers' program pitch so well. It just sounds cool as hell.

And the well-written Navy manual for transitioning servicepeople kind of caught me off guard and my tearducts tickle?

Ughhhh I need to read something reminding me our president is crazy and likely to make any military job hell.

Just wake them up with clanging and kerchunking keys so right.

So I have a mechanical keyboard I never got to use, and my mom and sister are down the hall.

Thinking about plugging it in and seeing how right it feels for some tedious "I know of Django, the hip python framework I should put on my resume" github stuff.

The more I think about it, the more I realize a lot of my face dysphoria isn't really how my face looks TODAY, but the fact that a lot of women who get FFS have sort of teen like features afterwards, and it stings that I never got to be a teen girl and that while my face looks kinda okay for a woman who's gonna be 30 before she knows it, I'll never get to look in the mirror and see a teen girl, and I'm not sure surgery would fix that in any practical sense.

kinda wish i could tell how much my breasts will/won't grow, and if there's any truth to the whole "if you get an orchiectomy or don't use spiro, they'll get bigger" thing everyone repeats. I definitely have breasts, just small for my size and frame...

And for some odd reason, it's driving me nuts knowing I'll need to wait a year and a half to even consider implants...

I wonder how bad a podcast would be where I ask neurotypical cis people what that's like.

I'm not joking. When I see someone who gets a bunch of stuff done, or I see a bro being a comfortable man, I'm just like, wow. You're okay with that? How do you cope?

I really just ought to go to one of those stupid millennial businesses where they give you a baseball bat and a room full of bottles and old electronics to smash since my stupid eyes won't do catharsis for me.

Anyway, the real problem here is that the Starbucks lady clearly gave me caffeine at 8PM when I asked for decaf.

Long story short, reading a trans woman's cool blog about her cool job and neat history of working hard to medically transition isn't always good for self esteem.

I feel like such a failure for figuring out I'm #trans so late, for realizing my engagement was wrong so late, for graduating college so late. I'm 28. I'm not a late bloomer. I'm just too late.

I hate what a hypocrite this makes me. I celebrate other trans women surviving so much. And here I am shitting on my own existence.

I just want that feeling when I wash my face after laser and a bunch of dark hairs fall out

like, just the feeling

no laser ouchies

So I have an Xbox 360 controller, a Windows 10 laptop with a discrete graphics card, and a 3 mbps download speed. Since I can't download big games, what should I play? The crappy d-pad kind of ruins playing the SNES canon.

He's a male professor I'm not at all interested in if that sweetens the pot. And parse trees aren't sexy. They're frustrating and designed to mock language designers who think they have something new to invent.

So night before last I dreamed one of my processors was feeling my breasts up in a lecture hall while talking about parse trees or w/e.

Last night, I dreamed I switched from Chrome to Firefox but got super-annoyed at deciding which extensions were worth installing on a different browser.

I wish I was as much of a Jungian as I pretend to be, because those random neural impulses were WEIRD.

Are there any podcasts/shows where they have a strange or extraordinary or notable interviewer questioning really banal people? I'd like that show.

I'm not weird enough to make it.

Lol just ate a quarter jar of pickled jalepenos.

Pray for me. Spiro did this.

I just feel like I only ever hear about people in comp sci who are super ambitious, graduate on time, never have a damn problem in their life, and here I am, a 28 yo trans woman who only recently got enough comfort and executive function to even think about job searching and internships because detachment and self loathing and depression bogged me down.

If I need to focus on getting ahead in retail supervising positions, I just want to know now.

Hey, dumb question. 3.4 GPA with no experience or internships in computer science, graduating this August. I'd like to work in the NYC/NJ/PA area but if I have to go elsewhere in the country I will cope.

Am I too stupid/unambitious to work in software? Kind of want to sort these feelings out, because browsing LinkedIn and seeing all these experience requirements make me feel pretty miserable.