✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme@witches.town

I was at my mom's house this weekend, and she asked if I'd like to watch Gilmore Girls with her and my sister. It was validating, in that they usually didn't try to include me in things pre-transition. Then my mom complained Lorelai's outfits were too slutty. And I couldn't help but think, "Maybe it's for the best you didn't try to raise me as a girl."

Are there any good voice work programs for people who have crap executive function and find the whole thing soul crushing? I get so anxious and put off the do-it-yourself approach.

But yeah, Somehow going rockclimbing reminded me how big and weird my body is, and yelling over traffic to talk to my colleagues reminds me I really ought to work on my voice.

Bitches don't know about my dysphoria.

@bea of course i mean that it doesn't de-accelerate so you don't taste it.

@bea sprio but delivered via hyperloop

@chr Okay, I love witches town and feel this would confuse the witchy aesthetics, but that's some good stuff right there.

At that point where I think of my deadname in the third person more often than not.

https://bojackfashion.tumblr.com/

Okay, this is good.

@nire wait, I thought this was part of the other thread!

@nire yeah. I accept the idea that gender can shift/change in people, so it only makes sense that you can have been a former gender. It's just my relationship to my assigned gender has changed. It never felt good, but I didn't always know it wasn't what I wanted in certain terms.

Honestly, the idea that gender can change kind of scares me, and I get why narratives we share with the cis don't mention it. Even if it does make things more complicated for genderfluid people and those who detransition.

@cute_weeds @nire Also, I see no harm in any trans person who asserts they definitely used to be another gender. We're all figuring this shit out.

@nire @cute_weeds I hear ya. It was really weird, early in transition, when I knew I hated being a guy but didn't see a woman in the mirror. It felt less like an affirmation and more like an Orwellian mandate. But I grew into the narrative as I saw changes and realized, I feel like the same person, but I make a fine woman and transition was so natural, like it was invented for me. Then that made sense to me.

@Sylvhem Well, yeah. I've only been full time for 9 months. 🙄

@Sylvhem no but she'll say it's okay because it's ~so hard~

My mom offered to give me a ride to the train station today after unloading stuff from my old apartment. I agreed, but told her I'd just get a Lyft if I was running late.

I come home and tell her I'll probably take the Lyft, and she's just livid, saying she will be late and that a Lyft will just be coming out of her pocket since she might end up bailing me out in the future. So I pack in a hurry, and she's deadnaming me, and telling me how awful it is to be tardy at my age.

And I have no clue how to tell her I'm doing my best. I wish I could be like her. And I don't know how she got to have to much right about her while I've just struggled.

@viv whoops, phone typo. Get stuff fixed. My brain reads those things as, "They seem happy and look better without makeup. Maybe you'd be happy." When, like, I'm not usually of a mindset that happiness comes from spending money...

@viv exactly. I was just kind of adding it up, the only real strong evidence for gender dysphoria was feeling a huge longing whenever I saw a pic of Christine Love or Fran Blanche.