✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme@witches.town

When I set Mastodon to unlisted rather than public so nobody on awoo.space or whatever sees my tootes

Wonder how hard it'd be to rig up a camping hammock on this roof.

@lycaon no, actually it's good

things that don't scroll with vimkeys? those are bad.

And it sucks, because she was otherwise a great mother. She just really liked to pigeonhole all my problems into one box, so that I was an easy answer while my sister was far more needy.

She did finally accept I was depressed when I had the grades and withdrawal from life to prove it. I think she's starting to get that I'm really trans at 9 months HRT. Ugh.

I'm sort of having an identity crisis about my mom insisting I was autistic since I was five and suddenly after transition I'm living in New York City and everything that should bother me doesn't matter one bit. Noisy cars and subways? Fine. Smells? Eh, it's new york. Touching weird or gross things? Soap exists. Interacting with people? A billion times easier now that I'm in a body/presentation I'm comfortable with.

I'm just frustrated she spent so much of my childhood telling me I was too fragile for things because of that diagnosis. That I couldn't be depressed or trans because autism means you just have to accept you have less feelings.

@lycaon but still vim is good

use vim

I want ridley scott to make a new cut of blade runner where the unicorn is easier to fold or maybe a frog or a crane or something.

@pawnshopheart glad he's back

@alyx Oh right, I keep forgetting Twin Peaks is back. I sort of liked the original, but people are going nuts over it now. So I can't tell if that means I'd like it or not. I can never keep up with TV. For one, I only had 3 mbit internet until recently. And I'm sort of on a fixed income and with ransom ware and everything I don't trust myself to not ruin a piracy attempt.

@alyx what's TP?

I've gotten nothing done today, and now I'm so sleepy I put my headphone jack inside my USB port. And I barely stopped myself before breaking something.

@headpats_bot that looks uncomfortable mr. robot

I guess it feels like I'm finally in a place I'm comfortable with my body and myself and I'd like to settle down and just maybe save up for electrolysis and let my life changes be carving out a life for myself as one person after spending six years in a codependent relationship. And figure out what the hell adult employment is. I didn't just get over being male. I'm no longer depressed at the same scale, and have a bachelor's degree. I wish I didn't have to think, "Well, if I don't get a consultation that will probably make me shiver and barf because my brain's too dumb to cry right now, Trunp will break Obamacare out of spite and..."

Also, I am most likely not moving unless I get some crazy good job offer. I love my family, and they've been really good to me during my transition. I don't want to lose my one tiny bit of support.

The trans experience for me tonight is weighing if I have the emotional strength to see my medicaid hmo covers anything.

I hate that trans healthcare is in such limbo, while I'm in the mood to settle down and just enjoy being a woman. Yes, I'm not cis-identical, but I don't know that it's feasible for me to even want that. On good days, I like my face. I get more dysphoric from the haircut I got a month ago. And yeah, my boobs are small and weird vs a cis woman's, but they look cute in a shirt. And medicine seems unable to shrink my skeleton. And GCS won't happen out of nowhere for free. A year ago, I didn't even know I was trans yet.