✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme@witches.town

Also, say what you will about Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? and A Scanner Darkly, but at least they don't end in the middle of nowhere after two or three chapters that read more like a couple blog posts about the philosophy of trans gatekeeping.

I think I'm just one of those people who gets things sideways through analogies and generalizations rather than when it's in my face. Too many guards/censors in my head.

real talk: i still feel like reading philip k dick prepared me for being trans a billion times more than nevada

https://youtu.be/mFUhwf4cojs?list=PL1bR0NRxbBaArfnPbKsAela05pQEaOSet I wonder if they chose fonts that didn't exist yet to deliberately rile up the audience, to know what it is to be Patrick Bateman, getting mad at a business card that ultimately symbolizes his panic at his fragile masculinity.

Or maybe Duncan Sheik is not obsessed with font history vOv

@Skirmisher idk can't want for vox to finish their bipisplainer

Also, gosh dang it I'm okay with the doctor who man just fine, but gosh does he think new yorkers talk like bostonites and absolutely love our hard rs.

I want to find people to listen to me talking about how American Psycho the musical was so good and didn't deserve to get tentpoled by Hamilton, and that we need an american cast recording because some of the songs were retooled.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZj8MH3SrVI&list=PL1bR0NRxbBaArfnPbKsAela05pQEaOSet

but they never asked for my casual sex :-( https://witches.town/media/6WzONE6iHISnDBPW9vc

@rotatingskull Maybe the inappropriate levels of solar energy fixed his brain?

https://youtu.be/cWXe4CKKf9o?t=78

@listelian I'd probably be best off learning to do my makeup and accessories better. Makeup, I have trouble making time for, and accessories, I don't have money for. Cheap costume jewelry feels like it makes me obvious, even if that isn't true.

@listelian Yeah, to be honest, the recovery scares me badly. I don't handle sensations above the neck very well. A cold that should be nothing can put me out of condition for a week because it's one of my few sensory issues.

Mix in the fatigue and seeing myself in bandages, I can see why myself recovering from FFS would be a nightmare.

Also, I think I look like the women of my family, which I like in that it makes me feel like I have a reminder they still accept me and I still belong. But the fact I get facial dysphoria makes me feel like I'm throwing them under the bus.

@listelian My big problem is that I've put off dating even though I want to date for various reasons, and now I'm just kind of "???" sexually. Don't much care for my old porn, I like some different erotica now, but in a really inconsistent way.

I guess if HRT is a second puberty, I'm going through that awkward teenage phase where everything and nothing is sexy and you have to figure yourself out. Again.

Guys, I think the eclipse might have awoken something in me, in that I didn't expect the sun getting blotted out to make me happy.

If it's a goth phase, that sucks because I can't afford a goth phase.

I started spiro when I was 27, but I think I just come from a family of people with hard features. German...

I know I don't need ffs, in that nobody technically needs anything. But, ugh.

The worst is I messaged my ex to talk about this so I settle down. Gross of me. All just because I saw a trans woman smaller than me, prettier than me, and willing to brag about her speaking voice on OkCupid. I just feel so gross and defective. I know I didn't even accept I was trans a year ago, but estradiol alone won't soften my face or shrink me much more or make my voice okay. Ugh.

I can't afford ffs, I probably wouldn't endure the recovery well, and with my luck my sinus cavities and brain would have something crack and I'd get a nasty infection. All on a crappy medical loan.

And I'll probably do this even though my cis friends tell me I'm not ugly. I hate that I want to pass, that it can't just be good enough for me to occasionally get clocked by people who don't care one way or another. Ugh.

I mean, to get gross, I feel like I get interested in maybe one type of female body (short and curvy, which is kind of rare with us 😞), and I'm curious about a bunch of different male body types. Way more men than women catch my eyes these days.

And I was never really trans attracted. Trans people sort of made me uncomfortable before I accepted I was trans, like I knew on some level they'd evoke difficult thoughts I buried.

@alyx I hate to say it, the ones I've met remind me of gals from my high school anime club. As in, they like cool things, and clearly have a sense of humor, but in a way I find more exhausting than infectious.

They probably saw me as morbid and pretentious. Which is fair.