✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme@witches.town

@gzt the worst is one guy chose to lead, made the HTML stubs for the project, and told us to log into his account to add our scripts. And he gave us the wrong password, didn't reply to our texts and ims a whole weekend, and griped that we weren't contributing when he got back. Just want this project done...

(Throwing garbage bag in dumpster do gif)

Argh, why do I always end up letting group partners force me to do the bulk of the work in these comp sci courses? I always trust they'll get up to speed and help after they figure out the docs, and they always disappear until the last minute to say "Oh, hey, how about I make the powerpoint?"

@listelian also to be clear, when I call the process of verifying I am indeed trans "putting my gender on trial," I am picturing pretty much every third or so episode of Star Trek. Usually with John DeLancie.

@TrollDecker Or ASCII art of that pleasure card he hands out.

Hey, jerks of OKCupid and Instagram who ask if there's any "pictures of me having fun ;)"...

NO, there aren't. I'm not some Rockefeller who can afford to buy splash mountain photos.

Someone make a mastodon instance where the gimmick is you can scroll through posts with vimkeys.

That's it.

Also, it replaces "GNU/Linux" with "linux."

And you can put blink tags in your posts.

http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Girl-Mad

Of all the garbage here, I'm wondering if Milo charged royalties for this likeness.

I went on an adventure from "even on the jobsite women must be feminine. fuck the patriarchy." to "no, but I'd wear it" in thirty seconds. Same with Gammora's tacticool battle heels in Guardians of the Galaxy

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001PNIWIS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_f8eGzbCP9X1DC

@listelian No, but it sounds like a good analogy. I think the thing is so long as trans representation is so bad, it's hard to see yourself as trans until you see real trans people living life as you would.

Frankly, I think the big thing that changed me from "A guy who joked a lot about castration and was real numb" to "a trans woman" was seeing so many trans people on Twitter and Tumblr with similar hobbies. In retrospect, there were some big clues I was trans, but I never followed them beyond, "Transition sounds really hard, and if I needed to transition, I'd have known it all along."

@listelian Particularly, one quote was a doctor who said he can't get teens to finish a course of antibiotics, so if they just wanted to try on a trendy identity, they wouldn't want to take a shot every week for it. While I'm no teen, I have had phases where I'm infatuated or fixated on something (Aspergers' special interests), but unlike ham radio, I kept working on transition after a month, and can't imagine dropping it.

I guess the thing is that the trans condition is always putting your gender on trial. And TERFs and concern-trolly thinkpieces make it easy to think I'm swept up in a cultural frenzy despite my real feelings.

@listelian The doctors from trans clinics in that reddit AMA did a lot to put me at ease on that. Since yeah, I'm not just playing with my gender in relatively minor ways, but have serious feelings about what sex my body should resemble.

I think the big thing that screwed with me was that I saw transition as an incredible thing I kind of wanted, but in the same way you might feel about owning a private jet. It's just outside the experience I have, and related to me through superficial media. Seeing actual trans people didn't make me want to be trans. In hindsight, it made me realize I could be trans and still safely lead the rest of the life I want.

@bea Less hurt so much as just plain confused. I wanted to date and figure myself out for so long while our relationship was failing. She had become withdrawn and stopped having sex with me, but was still smart and funny and great to talk to. In retrospect, it was depression dampening parts of her.

She's discussing couples therapy, two months after we broke up. I think it's too soon, but I don't want to rule us out. But I'm also curious to date, and hate that I'm so inexperienced. And am probably pan and wish I got to see how that attraction works with people who aren't women.

Pardon my vent.

This is probably different in cities, and I will be in NYC for three months, but right now, in central jersey, it's lonely.

And I'm processing my breakup with my fiancee who was not just my codependent lover, but also my best friend, and I miss her friendship more than anything else. Maybe that's making me timid and irrational.

It's weird how my brain can convince me I'm jumping on a trend re: being trans, yet also I've only seen four other trans women in the past two months, if you count people I clocked.

Seems like if it were such a massive trend, I wouldn't be the only trans person in the comp sci department, and trans support group could get enough people to meet every week. But no, my brain takes weak thinkpieces more seriously than lived experiences.

This is also why I'm hesitant to date other trans women, in that it feels like I'd have a tiny dating pool of people I'd rather have as friends. What if relationships go sour?

I might actually go for a run this evening, even though I'm tired and just showered. Because the Americanized Chinese Food stand gave me too much food for a small family for $8 and now I feel gross. I believe I got bourbon chicken, general tso's chicken, chow mein, and an eggroll. So much starch and fat to process.

To be clear, it's not that I think being fat is bad, although I feel like I'd look more feminine with less of a dude tummy. If it were going to my boobs and butt like a cis girl, I'd probably be less annoyed.

And the big thing is that running helps me feel healthy and normal. It's my big destressing thing.

"Oh you have hips now!" yes friend, or it's fat. idk.

I can't tell what's hormones and getting fat. I need to start running again...