The worst is I messaged my ex to talk about this so I settle down. Gross of me. All just because I saw a trans woman smaller than me, prettier than me, and willing to brag about her speaking voice on OkCupid. I just feel so gross and defective. I know I didn't even accept I was trans a year ago, but estradiol alone won't soften my face or shrink me much more or make my voice okay. Ugh.