@listelian What sucks is now I'm feeling overwhelmed and my dang mind is so used to being numb, all it's doing is shaking my leg instead of making me cry or do something really cathartic. Might journal a bit.

@listelian And I can't tell if it's "I have to think about genital hair removal, getting doctor's notes, hospital arrangements, how to stay sane during recovery" stuff feeling like tangible concerns, or just coming down from the glow of "It could happen to me for real like I wanted in middle school."