Also, I guess I officially told a living, breathing person for the first time I want vaginoplasty if I can make it happen.

Holy shit. It's getting realer.

@ikea_femme she also sounds extremely straight, tbh

@TipsyTentacle Yeah, she had straight sex at least twice, it's fucked up.

@TipsyTentacle It came up mostly because I want to get off spiro, but I'd like to consult with a surgeon on what's best if that means some kind of orchi.

@ikea_femme big reason why I'm seeing my doctor this week. So I can stop taking Spiro.

@TipsyTentacle I'm kind of hoping I can just take a big dose of estradiol to go off it. Or maybe take less spiro. Being in the US, I don't really have a cheap and safe alternative unless I import myself.

@TipsyTentacle Since I've heard all kinds of things about what you should/shouldn't do with your scrotal area if you're going to get vaginoplasty.

@listelian I seriously have no clue. I think it's just that kind of cis mindset that anatomy/bodily aesthetics are a matter of utility in attracting a mate. See people who say, "Why are you transitioning if it means you'll be gay?"

@ikea_femme At least with that one there's the "being gay is fuckin' amazing" comeback.

@listelian What sucks is now I'm feeling overwhelmed and my dang mind is so used to being numb, all it's doing is shaking my leg instead of making me cry or do something really cathartic. Might journal a bit.

@listelian And I can't tell if it's "I have to think about genital hair removal, getting doctor's notes, hospital arrangements, how to stay sane during recovery" stuff feeling like tangible concerns, or just coming down from the glow of "It could happen to me for real like I wanted in middle school."