musing on trans doubt, that bandwagon argument Afficher plus
@ikea_femme So, a cool thing about queer dating is that going slowly / backing off into friendship if it's not feeling workable is more common. Not, like, guaranteed, but not as unusual as it is elsewhere.
Also, in case it helps to hear, you're obviously not a bandwaggoner and arguments not to do something you want to do based on prospective dating pool size are almost always not arguments one should pay attention to.
@listelian The doctors from trans clinics in that reddit AMA did a lot to put me at ease on that. Since yeah, I'm not just playing with my gender in relatively minor ways, but have serious feelings about what sex my body should resemble.
I think the big thing that screwed with me was that I saw transition as an incredible thing I kind of wanted, but in the same way you might feel about owning a private jet. It's just outside the experience I have, and related to me through superficial media. Seeing actual trans people didn't make me want to be trans. In hindsight, it made me realize I could be trans and still safely lead the rest of the life I want.
@listelian Particularly, one quote was a doctor who said he can't get teens to finish a course of antibiotics, so if they just wanted to try on a trendy identity, they wouldn't want to take a shot every week for it. While I'm no teen, I have had phases where I'm infatuated or fixated on something (Aspergers' special interests), but unlike ham radio, I kept working on transition after a month, and can't imagine dropping it.
I guess the thing is that the trans condition is always putting your gender on trial. And TERFs and concern-trolly thinkpieces make it easy to think I'm swept up in a cultural frenzy despite my real feelings.
@ikea_femme @listelian current gender: you're dead, this is the afterlife, and i'm God
@listelian also to be clear, when I call the process of verifying I am indeed trans "putting my gender on trial," I am picturing pretty much every third or so episode of Star Trek. Usually with John DeLancie.