**✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨** @ikea_femme · 01 août 2017, 01:07

**✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨** @ikea_femme · 01 août 2017, 01:07

✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme

01 août 2017, 01:07

✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme

musing on trans doubt, that bandwagon argument Afficher plus

It's weird how my brain can convince me I'm jumping on a trend re: being trans, yet also I've only seen four other trans women in the past two months, if you count people I clocked.

Seems like if it were such a massive trend, I wouldn't be the only trans person in the comp sci department, and trans support group could get enough people to meet every week. But no, my brain takes weak thinkpieces more seriously than lived experiences.

This is also why I'm hesitant to date other trans women, in that it feels like I'd have a tiny dating pool of people I'd rather have as friends. What if relationships go sour?

**✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨** @ikea_femme · 2017-08-01T01:09:31Z

✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme

musing on trans doubt, that bandwagon argument Afficher plus

This is probably different in cities, and I will be in NYC for three months, but right now, in central jersey, it's lonely.

And I'm processing my breakup with my fiancee who was not just my codependent lover, but also my best friend, and I miss her friendship more than anything else. Maybe that's making me timid and irrational.

01 août 2017, 01:09 · 0 · 0

**beatrix bitrot** @bea@glitch.social · 01 août 2017, 01:15

**beatrix bitrot** @bea@glitch.social · 01 août 2017, 01:15

01 août 2017, 01:15

beatrix bitrot @bea@glitch.social

musing on trans doubt, that bandwagon argument Afficher plus

@ikea_femme if you're hurt i think it's reasonable to take your time

please don't be too hard on yourself~

**✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨** @ikea_femme · 01 août 2017, 01:21

**✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨** @ikea_femme · 01 août 2017, 01:21

01 août 2017, 01:21

✨Spirit Halloween⚧Femme✨ @ikea_femme

musing on trans doubt, that bandwagon argument Afficher plus

@bea Less hurt so much as just plain confused. I wanted to date and figure myself out for so long while our relationship was failing. She had become withdrawn and stopped having sex with me, but was still smart and funny and great to talk to. In retrospect, it was depression dampening parts of her.

She's discussing couples therapy, two months after we broke up. I think it's too soon, but I don't want to rule us out. But I'm also curious to date, and hate that I'm so inexperienced. And am probably pan and wish I got to see how that attraction works with people who aren't women.

Pardon my vent.