Those of you who went for GCS, what thought processes or questions helped you move from "maybe" to "I should plan for this?"

Or was it something you obviously wanted?

I wanted it a good amount in middle school, and I feel jealous of trans women who have gotten it. But I'm curious if it'd be worth the money/good for me in practice. After all, everybody sees my voice and face, but only a few people see my genitals. And I'm barely not a virgin.

I'm sick of hearing "You have your whole life to figure this out," because I'm not rich. I can't just pull $20,000 out of my pocket and leave work for a month without serious planning.

@ikea_femme I have a lot about this. At least 500 words. I'll write it up later for you and link.

@jamuraa Thanks. I guess the biggest questions I have are "what feelings made you want it?" and "how did you feel about it once it was over and healed?"

I feel so inbetween on it, but I feel like anything that could make me feel at home in my body is worth it.

@ikea_femme I've in some ways always wanted a vagina, and just never thought it was possible. I theoretically knew surgery was possible (but I thought it was actually fake) after *that* south park episode. Once I learned more about it, and I accepted that it was the best I was going to get in my lifetime, there were only a few blockers: How to pay for it, whether I could stand the recovery, and if I would be happy with the results. Those went away by looking at post-op neovaginas and talking to friends. (paying for it by insurance).

At ~1 year postop it's alien to me that I ever had a penis. My vagina is good, the best I can hope for.

@jamuraa plus, I feel like every other trans woman has big feelings, and I'm just trying to find what will alleviate the dissociation and fog. I don't cry when I feel dysphoric, or have a bad day, or even if someone I love dies. I hate it, and transition is the only thing that's chipped at that numbness.