I think a big thing that screws with me is I'll always have that dumb doubt. Would people like me more if I had FFS? Would people see me as me, and not as their preconceived notions of a trans woman? And being too broke for FFS means I have to deal with those possibilities, and the self-loathing for getting depression and getting my bachelor's at 28, when it seems half the trans women I follow have great jobs with Cadillac healthcare plans.