i get super antsy when cis people say things like "you go girl!" (that's their favorite) or "what will you ladies be having?" and other unnecessarily gendered things

the latter is maybe me being oversensitive sometimes, but definitely not all the time.

i assume it comes from a desire to affirm and support but in reality it feels like they just spotted the trans and want to let them in on their keen insight. no need, thank you.

p.s. to the dudebros: don't blithely address trans OR cis women with "hey dude" or "hey man" either, because then we're forced to either stew in silence or call it out, which leads to other problems

seriously one of my biggest pet peeves is the tendency to transform masculine terms like "guys" and "dude" into supposedly gender-neutral forms of address

"guys" has long been an issue but i was gobsmacked a few years ago when some guy (that means a man!) in my class started saying "hey man" to me every other sentence.

i was like, is it cuz he reads me as dudeish or has patriarchal influence on language really gone so far as to make "man" an acceptable way to address a woman? (at least to some dopes)

anyway here is the ur-text on the subject from 15 years ago. still on point.
https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/the-common-guy