Okay well I'm officially curious about both what some surgeon would think I need to get fixed from my T puberty and what they think I would look like afterwards.

Fuck.

Some huge part of me wants them to be like my voice therapist, who I had one appointment with and she sent me away and said I was totally fine already.

I think I might need to make a promise to myself.

@jamuraa Best of luck. Somebody on a trans form said their surgeon said 90% of people who want FFS don't really need it. I still can't tell if I'm comfortable with my face, even if I look cute in some photos with the right hair and glasses and smile. Just knowing I'm hiding stuff and seeing it in the mirror when I wake up bothers me sometimes. And I have no idea if I could endure the recovery period. And at the core of it, I feel I can't trust anyone or myself on this, as I fixate and other people change their answers for my feelings. If they want to hurt me, I'm manly, if they want me to be happy, they say I'm feminine. ugh.

@ikea_femme I'm one of the lucky few - I don't believe I will have a problem getting FFS if I really believe that I need it.

I do think I look cute and feminine most of the time - it's about a flip of the coin whether I'll hate my face on a particular day. As for recovery - yea, that's one I'm worried about because I hear that it could be more tricky than bottom surgery even. I recovered quick from that.

Partially I have intense distrust of people who have reason to not hurt me. I'm lucky enough that I don't get a lot of hate, and don't need it socially sometimes, but I have that bug "what if" in my head now.