Jazmine Doom @gravezwave@witches.town

cookies turned out surprisingly well

the recipe also called for chocolate but I left that out, so there's probably only about 6 million calories

baking update: nothing has caught fire yet

well this butter/sugar sludge that I've made looks delicious at least

@bstacey that seems like the most likely explanation, the other measurements have conversions to metric

@troubleMoney @oceangrunge it says one cup

@oceangrunge IDK PROBABLY

ALL THAT'S IN THE COOKIES BESIDES THE USUAL COOKIE INGREDIENTS IS NUTELLA

now I'l be the first to admit that I don't bake that often, but this cookie recipe says that it has 6, 500, 000 calories and something seems amiss

I need to use this nice tea set my sister got me from her trip abroad

@oceangrunge well if he owns a dog he must be trustworthy

@aprrrl pros: I'm 5 feet tall and you can throw me or use me to bludgeon others to death, and I can be stored in the trunk of a car to avoid arousing suspicion if I'm covered in blood

cons: am very soft, no previous dead acquaintances to provide references

becoming a literal contract killer sounds less soul crushing than filling out applications for menial jobs and writing cover letters begging for the privilege of making a living wage

anybody got an in for that business

proposal for people posting job listings: at least do something vaguely entertaining like requiring that my cover letter be written in haiku so that I can have a little fun while begging to be hired

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