Why can't I just go see my doctor and say that I want to start taking hormones? Why can't I admit to my parents that I do not want to look like a boy, as they imagine?

Am I particularly a coward in front of responsibility? I always expect people to do what I should do, to take care of me.. I get this time nobody is gonna miraculously detect my problem
My whole life will sucks, I feel it already

I feel so bad for complaining everytime