And I’ve been reading Winter’s Tide, which is a rather huggy revisionist take on Lovecraft. It’s nice to see a subversion of Lovecraft’s terror of the Other but there’s also a lot of (found) Family, and it’s not a theme that resonates with me. In fact, I think one reason I’m an anarchist is that anarchism promises a world where we can care for each other without it.
@ghost_bird Lovecraft's obsession with family was interesting, considering how estranged he was from his own; his later life, forging long-distance friendships with younger writers and visiting them whenever he could, could credibly be seen as his attempt to build his own definition of family, although he certainly would not agree with that view of it
@kara What I mean by Family-with-a-capital-F is something narrower and more obligate than that, I think. It’s the trope of “we’re all different and we don’t always get on but we stick together because Family” that I have trouble with - probably because my family’s never been a meaningful source of emotional support for me.
@ghost_bird ah, I think I get you. the sort of familial obligation that, when soured, turns into compulsion: "you're _supposed_ to stick by me, we're FAMILY"—a toxic dynamic to be found in all types of "family", both blood-related and those bound by some other bond
@kara Very much that, yes. It makes me suspicious of the kind of uncritical celebration that goes with the trope.
@kara So perhaps I’m disappointed when “found family” turns out to be a new context for the same trope, when there are so many other possibilities. It feels kind of reactionary to me.