also just as a thing, in general 'you shouldnt impliment this because it isnt the platonic ideal of <thing>' doesnt actually fly.
no im not talking about the not-quite-almost-ok privacy stuff, i mean... christ so many features that people say cant even be worked on because any solutions that can be done wont be absolutely perfect
@nire caps from instances would help, so say you won't federate private posts if the instance doesn't signal it supports that.