I have had a complicated relationship with "otherkin" as an identity over time, and especially in the last eighteen months or so
like, when I discovered furry in 2004, "otherkin" and that related thing "therian" were just words to me, I had no real feeling for them, or feelings about them
I considered myself just a guy permitting himself to indulge a pleasant fantasy, a kind of second childhood that gave me a second chance to meet other strange new children
mind you, I didn't think of it as "childhood" then, that's more of a retrospective judgment. a lot of my friends in those wonderful early times *were* children (well, compared to me anyway, I was 30) or had youthful fursonae. my own fursona was middle-aged, unmagical...a unicorn who never learned how to be anything but human, uncomfortably situated between both
such were my first tentative, halting, fearful steps on the journey towards the possibility of a non-human identity
my furry identity as a unicorn began as a rather high-level identification with a symbol that seemed to match up with important aspects of myself, but it did deepen over time into something...earthier? more animalistic? partly this was from interacting with other horse / equine furs whose identification with the horse was rooted in personal experience with horses
partly it was a particular RP partner who encouraged me to expand my imagination, and what I could see myself as ;]
so I grew into the unicorn identity, and he became like a favorite suit of clothes
everything I wanted to be as a cis gay male human, in unicorn form
erudite and professorial, a scholar and a teacher, steeped in the best of classical tradition
conservatively but stylishly dressed, elegantly mannered, intricate and precise in speech and letters
supremely mindful of duty, as befits a horse, and willing to shoulder heavy burdens
a gay stallion in bed (uh wait)
but I began to feel uncomfortable both as a unicorn in general and as Monoceros / Monophylos in particular. partly it was because I didn't feel like I got on with most other equine furs. also I was growing a bit uncomfortable with the hypermasculinized, hypersexualized image of stallions in furry subculture
(I mean, not gonna lie, it was fun to roleplay sometimes, but the _expectation_ came to grate on me.)
still, I stuck with it till last year. twelve years a horse
things started to change when I was drawn into a relationship (now, sadly, over) with a dragonkin friend
it was my first real experience with anyone who identified as otherkin. I wasn't totally ignorant of the concept but I hadn't ever talked seriously with anyone about what it was and what it meant to them
all I can say is...whatever skepticism I might have had in the past didn't seem to matter
I was in the presence of something I didn't understand, but I never doubted it
otherkin, personal Afficher plus
otherkin, personal Afficher plus