I think what hurts me most from the stories isn't the actual pain - the parts where the traps snap shut - it's the agonising build up, and that everyone complicit in it isn't shown(?) as a bad person.

When my abuser hurt me, I wanted to believe she was intentionally malicious. That she wanted to hurt me, or at least knew that I was hurting and didn't care.
It was that she wasn't a bad person, she just thought we were both playing our role. That hurt me.

And the pain I dealt myself to keep the peace was the same as in the stories.
I was doing the same thing a hundred thousand women before me had done.