we've had four different plumbers in this week. i am wearing out my Man voice. i never want to say or hear the word "mate" ever again

he's hoovering so i think he's getting ready to go

one last cheers mate and he'll be gone

he's still not gone

i really need a wee

he said he was going but now he's hanging about in the hall making noise and talking to himself

i realise now that all the work of the man voice was undermined when he had to move all my haircare products out of the shower

and if that didn't do it, the enormous dildo with googly eyes who sits above our stairwell would have done it