@distelfliege it's a tax evasion scheme (unless US laws work very differently in which case lol)

@MightyPork I guess so.. same here.. but I've seen it so often:

"We're only doing it for tax reasons!"

*that same couple turns around on the spot and goes to wedding shoppe, buys expensive wedding dress and suit and has a party with all the relatives and weird rituals in it*

yeah perfectly logical.

@distelfliege i suppose it's in part for the relatives etc, something that's expected. But i've seen quiet weddings also ...

@MightyPork I haven't much, but that's a perk of quiet weddings - you don't really see them, except for when you're invited :)

@distelfliege @MightyPork IMO tax benefits for married couples are unfair. It's a punishment to all those who object to marriage for whatever reason. Marriage should be a personal decision independent from financial issues. It's not like you cannot build a family and have children without being married, which is the usual excuse for the tax benefits.

@megfault @MightyPork yep! and people reap the benefits without even starting a family. society should just support the kids directly. and much more so!

but we weren't discussing the (un)fairness of the stuff, we were just talking about how people would take advantage of it.. as it's already in place..

but I totally agree with you!

@distelfliege @MightyPork ther's actually an arcane IRS rule where they can call bullshit on a marriage, so they ask for proof that it ISN'T done for legal advantage. same for immigration iirc

@trwnh @MightyPork in germany, this is done only for immigration, as far as i know, which is total racist bullshit!

@distelfliege @MightyPork in the case of spending money it's also classist if it ever gets called; the implication is that a marriage HAS to include expensive spending or else it's not real

@trwnh @MightyPork it's so absurd to call a marriage for economic reasons unreal. marriage was a purely economical institution for centuries and to make it about romance is fine and good but..

THEN it should be de-institutionalized, all benefits abolished, and it should be turned into a ritual that everone can do or not do as they please.

or it IS an economic thing, then we must discuss why people should be privileged over others just for stating they love each other forever blablaah..

no, it's just too absurd. abolish it.

@trwnh @MightyPork what's also interesting for me is, that marriage was always classist. if you weren't able to afford a place to live and found your own household you simply couldn't do it.

@MightyPork @trwnh "in the olden times" (I forgot to add)

@distelfliege reminds me of a docu from Austria from a Catholic University I once saw on EWTN, the Professor had a clipboard with pairs of various mammals (doggos, people, cats etc) and explained things that should usually be taught in late junior school. Rest of the profs started coughing loudly out of embarrasment when any parts of the body were mentioned so I couldn't hear if he meant
/optimal/ oder "maximal" 10 bis 20(!) Kinder" (which was the reason given to become and stay married) ++

@distelfliege although I guess they meant well, the whole way this was put together (and it was part 1 of 10 of a larger series young couples were supposed to watch) was more likely to scare them away from having *any* Kinder at all, and I've read separately that were it not for the migration (that angry young people in AT are making sch a fuss about) the whole country would eventually depopulate..

@vfrmedia I have no idea about Austria tbh so I don't know if this absurd catholic masterpiece is very representative for current austrian society 😂

@distelfliege it was very recentl, about 2016 (I used to supply equipment to that same University in the late 1990s), EWTN DE is also run by Americans who insist on controlling content from Alabama which skews them more towards traditionalism.

K-TV from Bavaria/Switzerland is sane and normal in comparison (better production quality too), recently they have more female presenters and in kids/youth programming (which I can at least understand) encourage young lads as well as girls to make art

@vfrmedia "sane" and "normal" aren't really positive words for me..

@distelfliege fair enough, what surprised me about this channel is for a religious broadcaster they weren't /anywhere/ as full on about things like moral policing in comparison to EWTN and seemed closer to their communities (they have stuff like Franciscans presenting documentaries about what nature/wildlife you'd find in the mountains of Bayern/Tirol and also the Bavarian resistance against Nazis in WW II and why this led to a chapel being built in what is otherwise the middle of nowhere..)

@vfrmedia I googled EWTN and wikipedia says it's the largest religious broadcasting service of the world, I'm surprised it's catholic, I thought protestants/evengelical fundies would be on top of the game when it cames to "televangelization"

interesting...

@distelfliege Mother Angelica copied the idea from the protestants in the 1980s and set up a TV station in a garage (was almost like a pirate station except she did get an FCC license), they really are big today. They had digital HD capable equipment in 2001 long before anyone else (what impressed me was the nuns did all their own tech work including replacing 20 kilo power supply units, its a closed convent so no males are allowed unescorted (other than a neutered tomcat they rescued)

@vfrmedia seems to be quite the badass woman, this mother Angelica

@vfrmedia I think in regional christian organizations in south germany you'll find more diversity of topics, because they are often the only organizations where people can have a social life at all. that's true for the village I grew up in.

the downside: everything is tainted by a christian perspective. the upside: the christians can't be and won't be as "hardliners" as their central organs would want them to be.

I'm kind of glad I don't have to live there any more, though I miss nature, the countryside, the less polluted air, the forests..

@distelfliege this totally explains the Ringlstetter - Niederbayern song, although from watching numerous documentaries about Germany I've also noticed in those areas what appears to be far fewer young adults from their 20s-40s (other than Volksmusik performers!) in the South (presumably they move elsewhere) - TBH exactly the same can be said for many rural areas near where I live (expect the Church of England have (slightly) more of a presence than catholics.

@vfrmedia yes, people flee the countryside if they can. especially queers, people of color, everyone who's "alternative".
those who stay complain that the rural south will never be progressive if everyone continues to leave.. but you can't make people live in a very normative environment.. everyone must decide how much they can take.

@distelfliege a friend of mine from there moved to an urban area of Switzerland (he has had drug-related health issues and the treatment is more humane there).

There isn't as much urban flight in my region, but its maybe smaller in size and easier to get around (no mountains) and there is always a large town within 30 km. There is also coast which tends to make areas diverse by necessity. (Ipswich is very diverse and multicultural, Felixstowe and Lowestoft similarly so but less affluent)

@distelfliege for me marriage doesn’t make much sense either because I have multiple partners and the system would only allow me to marry one of them. So instead it’ll be used as a tool to help get a partner citizenship and/or healthcare if needed.

@distelfliege Same. I understand the legal paperwork around it, and I do understand having spiritual rituals do mark significant milestones. But I don't understand arbitrary distinctions between how you act before/after those ceremonies.
Like, living together, sex, and especially the concept of a "permanent commitment". People change, often drastically, over the course of a life. It sets you up for major disappointment to expect lifelong commitment.