@noxy you have quite a rigid definition of those terms. I've heard the "fetish" theory often, however it's too simplistic and doesn't at all represent me.

I'm not a girl and I'm not straight, I'm a genderqueer butch woman who feels her attraction to men is gay.

@distelfliege It's not a theory, that's just the only context I've ever seen that word in. I get that you aren't using it for yourself in that way. I guess I'm just saying this as a heads up, it's usually a fetish.

Anyway all of these things about you lead me to believe that 1) no one would ever use the word "fag" to slur you, thus you have nothing to reclaim and 2) you have no business posing as an authority on the matter

@noxy I'm sorry, but I'm not responsible if you didn't look up different sources of information. No one I know who identifies as a girlfag is seeing it as a fetish only, most not at all. I'm not too much into the practice of defining people's identities without taking into account their own voices.

a german equivalent of the word "fag" has been used to slur me. I don't say that to argue I am entitled to reclaim it, I say that to argue that your "slur for amab ppl only" idea is wrong, bc haters don't know which gender the people they slur were assigned at birth.

I'm not posing as an authority on anything but my own stuff here.

@distelfliege I don't know anything about German at all but in English the word "fag" refers to amab people. It is not really a homophobic slur but rather a slur toward people who are expected to be masculine but are deemed inferior for choosing not to do so. At no point did I say that you or anyone like you is not entitled to identify as gay or as whatever you like, I'm just saying if you care about not using offensive slurs, you should censor "fag".

@noxy how do people know which gender the targets of their slurs were assigned at birth?

@distelfliege It's not about correctly determining birth assignment, it's about what the person meant by it. If someone called you the word "fag" (which I think you admitted has never actually happened) it would be because they *thought* you were amab and homosexual and/or presenting in a femme way, not because they were acknowledging your butch identity and then also ridiculing your sexual orientation

@noxy what is this? "which you admitted has never actually happened"? it has happened but the person was german and was using a german term.

I don't get why you put so much emphasis on birth assignment, that's quite cissexist. gay trans men are also suffering from discrimination against gay men, and it doesn't make anything better if you run around saying that they *meant* to hurt only amab people when they hurt them.

I'm stopping this discussion now, you don't seem to be acting in good faith.

@distelfliege a German word is NOT THE SAME WORD. It's literally not even the same language oh my god. Just because they are used as synonyms does not mean they have identical meaning.