👽cmdrspacebabe👽 @cmdrspacebabe@witches.town
ah, how I wish to be independent, live alone, and not grieve for anyone // she/they // EN/FR; calligraphy, longboarding, many selfies, much complaining
@grime_witch yeah. and back when I still had sexuality it was more parallel to 'standard' romance but w/o that I just can't see the difference
I've been in love w one of my friends for years and it never mattered that we weren't dating/she had a boyfriend bc... we still love each other?? and I know she had similar feels for me bc she told me, so what does it matter that she's not my girlfriend? what's the dif? we love each other the way the we do and I never cared if that wasn't as A Romantic Relationship and that's how I still feel about a lot of my closest friends. we're already 'in love' bc... I love them and they're central figures in my life
@grime_witch that sounds v wise
these days I wonder if a lot of my early experiences with romantic love were more like, fulfilling an expectation rather than a genuine Feeling on my part, and now that I've noticed that it just doesn't really work anymore
my most recent romantic relationships ended bc they wanted more than I was able or willing to give and I could never really figure out why other than 'this just doesn't seem worth spending my limited supply of energy on'
my long-term partner has been exempt bc we're already close friends who relate/rely on other levels than the romantic & he has other partners to fill those needs for him
@grime_witch feels like I lack the emotional ability/capacity for what most people consider 'dating' and like, no good will come from trying to imitate a pattern that doesn't come naturally to me; that just ends in awkwardness, disappointment and avoidance
@grime_witch yaaaa that too. I'm already happy with the present dynamic and don't really know what would be different about it other than... something would change, and the expectations would change, and what if they change in a way that doesn't work for me and suddenly it's like oh oops guess that's fucked up now despite everyone's best intentions
a big part of my practice of polyam/relationship anarchy is 'relationships develop at the intersection of your respective needs' rather than established expectations and patterns and my needs are... already met, I don't need anything different + last time I tried to 'date' I just wound up hurting someone
@grime_witch a lot of the reason I've been drawn to terms like relationship anarchy is that the one doesn't really seem that much different or more significant than the other and I don't really get what the difference is for other people so... why bother making a whole Thing of the distinction at this point, it feels like it wouldn't really make a difference anyway
@grime_witch yeah pretty much?? like for me a lot of it is that these days I'm more and more asexual and can't remember what the point of sex was in the first place, and so there's just not that much of a difference bt romantic and platonic now
and tbh there never really was in the first place, because I've always had friends I've been low-key in love with and never felt any need to act on it because we already love each other?? what else is there to add I already love you how would it be different if we dated except like we'd hold hands more maybe?? except I also hold hands and cuddle with platonic friends! so what does it matter!
@grime_witch *googles* oh hey it me wow
like, genuinely what is the difference, I can't figure it out anymore, thank you v much for this word it's perfect
also, pretty into the term 'wtfromantic' because yeah, What The Fuck
do u ever look at the concept of romantic love and be like, 'the fuck is that about? I'm pretty sure I used to feel it but now I don't remember what it means or how it's different from the platonic love I have for my friends so now when people want to date me I'm like, I can't answer that because I don't remember what dating is even though I've been dating my partner for over 3 years bc apparently at some point I became aromantic without noticing'
What Is Up With Airplane Food amirite
disgusted by every display of heterosexuality i see during this, pride month, of all months
update: actually everyone in this entire movie is terrifying
I'm finally watching Get Out and it is great so far
fuckin brutally on topic. the dad's whole 'i would have voted for Obama a 3rd time if I could' thing is such an obvious jab lmao
also the guy playing the brother is fucking terrifying
@bea relatable
polycules were organizing federated social networks before it was cool
there is a direct correlation between how tired I am and how weird my posture is
#cutewitches #100selfiechallenge 6/100 https://witches.town/media/TAIEtxw-hKDNWk-iEgQ
tfw your clingy ex sends you a message saying 'Hi Alex, are you up?' and you're like 'uuuuhhhh... definitely not' because that's entirely too formal not to be Suspicious
the one benefit of constant rumination on your negative thoughts is that you have a lot of time to work out the best way to communicate them
a thing that I am good at is Conflict Resolution
the secret is to text your feelings so you can rehearse them and proofread them to be sure they are appropriate and not unduly inflammatory and so you don't get all overwhelmed and start crying before you can get the first 6 words out because you have poor emotional regulation
works every time