@grime_witch I am pretty tired of just doing things because I feel like I should because It's A Thing People Do, I guess, because it seems like that's how a lot of my relationships happened even if it didn't really feel that way at the time, because romantic relationships were p much the only way I knew how to conceptualize deep emotional intimacy; which is no longer the case because I get that from friends anyway, and often in more fulfilling ways than I ever did from ~boyfriends~ or whatever bc there's no weight of expectation