@grime_witch yeah. and back when I still had sexuality it was more parallel to 'standard' romance but w/o that I just can't see the difference
I've been in love w one of my friends for years and it never mattered that we weren't dating/she had a boyfriend bc... we still love each other?? and I know she had similar feels for me bc she told me, so what does it matter that she's not my girlfriend? what's the dif? we love each other the way the we do and I never cared if that wasn't as A Romantic Relationship and that's how I still feel about a lot of my closest friends. we're already 'in love' bc... I love them and they're central figures in my life
@grime_witch I am pretty tired of just doing things because I feel like I should because It's A Thing People Do, I guess, because it seems like that's how a lot of my relationships happened even if it didn't really feel that way at the time, because romantic relationships were p much the only way I knew how to conceptualize deep emotional intimacy; which is no longer the case because I get that from friends anyway, and often in more fulfilling ways than I ever did from ~boyfriends~ or whatever bc there's no weight of expectation
@grime_witch only major dif b/t them and my Romantic Partner is that we live together/share pets and financial responsibilities, which like, ok, so do a lot of roommates, and? I can't seem to find any true qualitative difference and I just don't really care to, I'm... pretty much ok with the way I am and we are and it feels like the only reason I try to move beyond that/form new Romantic relationships is that I feel like I'm 'supposed' to