@grime_witch yaaaa that too. I'm already happy with the present dynamic and don't really know what would be different about it other than... something would change, and the expectations would change, and what if they change in a way that doesn't work for me and suddenly it's like oh oops guess that's fucked up now despite everyone's best intentions

a big part of my practice of polyam/relationship anarchy is 'relationships develop at the intersection of your respective needs' rather than established expectations and patterns and my needs are... already met, I don't need anything different + last time I tried to 'date' I just wound up hurting someone