Zeph 🐿️ @chaognostica@witches.town

@Skinnery I have a masculine haircut and pretty much no feminine accessories, most jewelry I have is from men's or non-gendered sections. But I've never mixed them with my skirts and dresses. Hmm.

It's weird, I guess I have this idea of how things are "supposed" to look so I actually worry my hair doesn't match dresses. But maybe that's a good thing? I never thought of playing up the masculinity instead of trying to look "right" by others' standards. I will try! Thanks.

Most of the time I prefer masculine clothing. But in the summer dresses and skirts are just so flowy and cool and cute and I love them. But I feel like I can never wear them anywhere people know me because I'm afraid if I look at all "girly" in a way I can help people are going to be like "ha, I knew you were a girl all along, now I can completely ignore your name/pronoun preferences." Even though, you know, anyone who does that doesn't respect me in the first place and I should probably just not talk to them.

Anyway. Tarot card draw for the day!

I'm a little anxious because I have a doctor appointment and I have not been keeping up well with my health care routines. So I asked what I should focus on to get through it and not panic.

Card: The Moon

I read that as: Try to uncover the fears that stop me from taking care of myself and face them. Use the appointment as an opportunity to see what works for others and try to build something better into my routine.

Oh, I see. Got up for two seconds and instantly realized she didn't want *me* for anything, she wanted my *chair*. And apparently I'm not getting it back anytime soon. :D

Ugh, my silly little kitty. She'll just sit at my feet and gently dig her claws into my leg for attention until I go to pet her and then she's like "Nooooo not like that" and walks away. Then two seconds later she's back with the claws.

She's lucky she's so cute.

@Irick Yeah, turns out I'm bad at maintaining multiple accounts. I've been following but not interacting much (or at all). So I should be much more active here now!

@oliver Same. I have friends who play and want me to join them, but I don't play video games often and I have coordination issues, which combined with all my social anxiety and the hostility I've seen in gamers when they're losing....noooooo. It's a shame, because I really do like the characters and have fun playing as long as I don't have to deal with other people at all.

I really like how similar the 3 of Swords card looks to the back of the deck and how the three dragons seem to blend into one. There is a struggle because they can't just go their separate ways, they are connected to each other and the need to grow and change affects them all. The connection is more important than the fight.

All three areas I read for seem to be in a state of growth and change with varied levels of upheaval. The week might seem difficult and make me feel hopeless, but it will help to remember that it is simply growing into something new and better fitting. I will be on the lookout for solutions that honor the connections in my life.

I decided to try some divination for the next week with two of my decks, the Celtic Dragon Tarot and the Sakura Cards (from Card Captor Sakura). For the Sakura reading, the cards represent themes for this week in relationships, work, and spirituality. The Celtic Dragon is more general, the major theme of the week and things influencing it.

Relationships - Wood: growth
Work - Sword: conflict, struggle
Spirituality - Earthy: disruption, re-shaping

Week's Theme: Three of Swords: loss/pain
Influenced by - Death: transformation, rebirth

I have some more thoughts and emotional associations with these, which I'll add in a reply.

@oliver Yeah, I got a lot of that. Also once I had to write a poem for an assignment where they gave me words that had to be included, and I decided they seemed to fit a breakup. My mom read it and was convinced I was hiding a secret relationship from her so she started watching me all the time and going through my stuff like she was going to find love letters or something, I dunno.

For some reason my comic about a teenage superhero, which I wrote much more consistently, did not make her think I was secretly a superhero. I'm a little disappointed about that. What, am I not superhero material? :D

@oliver That's awesome. We did not watch cool cartoons in my history classes.

I really want to watch that movie again now. But my copy is at my parents' house. :-/ Maybe it's cheap streaming somewhere or something.

@oliver I don't want to totally blow your mind here, but if it's also been awhile since you watched "An American Tail," you should check that out too. (I didn't see Fiddler till college so I understood more, but watching An American Tail after that when I hadn't seen it in almost 20 years was a surprise.)

@cigfran Ooooh, that sounds fun. I like that.

@cigfran I was planning on Fridays (mostly because I'm starting today so that would make a week), but I do like that alliteration...

@Eve It's not really one of my favorites, but it was one of my first so I'm all attached to it. And I do like how straight-forward it is and think it's probably a useful starting point to better understand other decks.

@Eve I started going through my Rider-Waite deck and studying one card at a time. I haven't gotten in the habit of actually reading yet, but I will try this week. Probably with a different deck, I'm not sure which one yet.

I really want to start doing more Tarot/oracle readings. I have a bunch of decks I've collected over the years but don't use often, it's just hard to build the habit. I might start doing daily readings with a journal and then do a wrap-up here every week so I have more incentive and maybe can get feedback/insights to help me learn more.