No wait, I lied, I do feel slightly unreal now.

I dunno.

Are we cofronting, am I proxying, who am I in all of this?

well, I guess more knowledge probably helps.

I think in the long run I do feel better for reading about other tulpas and how they do stuff, but there's this immediate first moment where I just feel like I'm doing shit wrong, or lying to myself, or to Aisling or just lying.

I think more knowledge is definitely helpful so I want to keep reading, but this is what I'm anxious about every time.