✨Ben Hamill✨ @benhamill@witches.town

I'm moving my account over to @benhamill. I don't wanna get into the details, but if you're really interested, I guess DM me over there. I'll import my follows momentarily. A bit sad to go because I love a lot of people on this instance.

#introductions

Uh. I like to kindpost, I guess. It's a new skill I'm learning, anyway. Also real bad joaks.

I try to learn about intersectional social justice and am trying to develop the habit of taking concrete, real world action about it more often.

I've got a linguistics degree that I don't use professionally (I'm in software), but I love to talk about words and things.

I think play and playfulness are super important. I enjoy roleplaying, board and video games.

I'm a mod on #WitchesTown. Ask me if you have questions (though I only speak English, do I'm not much help to our large population of French speakers).

My family afforded me a brief nap today. I dreamed I was playing a game a bit like Journey, but there was voice chat and more people playing together than 2. I fell in with a gang of unbearably cool French anarchist kids who all mostly knew each other IRL. We got to a part where you skate/boarded downhill in twilight and they were doing all sorts of awesome tricks while making up raps about the black block and shit in a mix of English and French. I was amazed they tolerated my presence, but they were so nice.

I'm pretty sure this was a dream about #WitchesTown.

Mornin', witches and wicks.

27. Who of your friends is most like you?

Uh. C-carl, maybe? This is a weird one, since none of y'all know most of them, mostly.

26. Among your friends, what are you best known for?

Uh. I think I am not the right person to ask this of? Maybe answering honest questions that I have no idea about with obviously TERRIBLE ideas? Being very serious about being silly? IDK. I can't see myself through their eyes.

25. What show or book series do you keep coming back to?

God. I cannot reread things. Or rewatch. I just remember them too well and a scene will start and I'm like, "Oh yeah, this is where they do the thing," and I get impatient for it to move on. IDK why.

That said, I have read The Lord of the Rings, like, 12 times? The highest number of times I've reread any other book is 2 and those number less than 10. So I guess that one, but it's been years and I think I would quite dislike it these days.

In terms of long-running series I am still hooked on: The Expanse (books). A number of comics series IDK if that's in-bounds for the question, though.

24. What food do you find yourself craving most often?

Something slightly sweet and carby. Like a laid-back cookie or a sweet granola bar. Often I sate this with a bowl of HEB's store brand Crunchy Raisin Bran. That's, like, the right amount of sweet without going overboard.

23. Where's your favorite place to meet awesome people?

Uhhh... on... here? It's hard to meet people IRL and the signal to noise ratio is awful. But I've found that on Mastodon, the density of cool people is astoundingly high.

I guess, also, I don't really crave a large in-person friend group. I have, like, ~5 people who I am really close to (aside from relatives) and that's pretty good for me.

22. What common misconception do you hate to hear repeated as fact?

There are so many. Uhm. Just pick one, Ben. One good one. Uhhhhh. You know... now that I'm TRYING to think of one, I can't. But I feel like I'm mad about this sort of thing on the regular. Cool story, breaux.

21. What's the biggest waste of money you've seen?

God. Uh. IDK. Extravagant, gilded rich people shit that doesn't even work as well as the mass market version? I can't think of a specific instance to call out.

20. What's the worst thing you can think of to put in a piñata?

What, like for a kids' party? Chopped up human remains? Fermented excrement? Caltrops? Poison that looks like popular candy?

What the hell is this question?

Questions on hiatus because the 3yo wandered in crying and needs help going back to sleep, so I'm on my phone now.

19. What've you accomplished that's given you the most satisfaction?

OK. I'm clearly thinking about these too much. First thought was, "What does 'accomplished' even mean really?" 🙄

Occasionally the 6yo (the 3yo is still too young, mostly) will exhibit without prompting or input of any kind some value or behavior that I have been intentionally trying to impart for years. That's the biggest "I did it!" hit. Smallish things like remembering to tell the wait staff "thanks" or being unafraid to ask what a word means from a "grown up" conversation. Bigger things like being kind to someone else or helping around the house. A group effort to be sure, though.

18. If you were a doll, what accessories would come with you?

Haha. I never would have anticipated or written this question, but it is pretty easy to answer:

- Winter hat, summer hat (see avatar for style).
- Argyle socks.
- Chuck Taylors.
- Laptop.

17. How quickly do you jump to conclusions about people?

Is, uh, there some standard of comparison here? A metric unit to measure this? How do I even express this answer? "Medium quickly"? Not that I have an answer. I think this varies so wildly, I'd have to keep a strict journal about it and do math on the results. I'm not even sure what it means, now that I think of it, to have a "conclusion" about someone. I could have a years-long positive acquaintance with someone and have "concluded" that they're pretty good people and then find out they're a Nazi and "conclude" very differently. So, yeah. I have no idea what this even means: mu.

16. If forces, what day would you pick to relive forever?

Holy shit, y'all. Groundhog Day is a VERY dark movie. This sounds awful. Probably I would pick some day when my whole family was visiting my parents while they were visiting Barcelona (remember retirement goals?). That trip was just super relaxing and that city is very cool and the kiddos were awesome and we spent time as a whole group or 1:1 with each other, so I got wife time and (then) 4yo time and (then) 1yo time and mom time and dad time and mother-in-law-time. So one of those days, probably. But I like new days. New days are good and repetition threatens to undermine any good experience.

Half way there, folks.

15. What do you do for stress relief?

I talked about this with the 6yo recently. Well... energy release, maybe is better. I have a lot of tricks to calm down (I took Ritalin as a kid and still manage hyperactive kinds of things): Deep breathing, vibrating my foot or drumming my fingers (kinda like stimming), singing, walking.

When I'm truly stressed, though I often have to sort of let it run its course. I can read or play video games and usually distract myself, but it's like the stress is just suspended and it comes right back as soon as I stop.

14. What annoys you most about the fandoms you're part of?

Hmmm. I don't participate in "fandom culture" much. I like the hell out of things, but don't hang out places dedicated to those things or whatever. In general, I feel like there's a certain pushiness among (certain?) fandoms. E.g. Whovians and Browncoats. Like... if you mention to a Whovian that you like Dr. Who, they will want to have a debate about which is the best Doctor and if you haven't seen some run (or god for bid ANY Dr. Who), they kinda wanna shove it down your throat. This rubs my "don't inflict yourself" philosophy the wrong way.

13. What gets you fired up?

IDK. Like, a lot of things? I tend to try to care ALL THE WAY or NOT AT ALL about things. So anything in column A will get me fired up either in a good or bad way: roleplaying games, injustice, software stuff, video games, words and word play, science fiction. Anything in column B will be a big shrug for me: sports, the family schedule over the weekend, reality TV, historical fiction.

12. What artist do you really like, but rarely admit to liking?

This used to be Carly Rae Jepsen, but I realized, like, it's OK to like things? And to own liking them? So I don't really have any "guilty favs" or whatever.

Related fun fact: I know all the words to at least one Taylor Swift song. I guess I don't "admit" that often, but only because it doesn't come up a ton.

11. In what situation would you feel most out of place?

I can't really imagine. Some kind of casual, group sex situation? A women's locker room? A Klan rally? I feel like as weird as those are, there would be some set of circumstances that would make my being there make SOME sort of weird sense. Whatever would make me feel THE MOST out of place is something that I feel like I can't think of, basically definitionally.

10. What skill would you like to master?

Is "empathy" too broad? Or "compassion"? Or, like, "communication"? These are all very tied together and getting better at the first two will improve the third, but without the third, your being good at the first two won't have as much of an impact on the people around you.

9. If you were a cartoon character, who would you be?

Tenzin 100%. Tryhard Dad. He's wiser than me, but not as wise as he wishes which is a lot of why I identify with him. Also his harried-by-kids-ness. And his wife-is-better-at-life-ness. And his not-really-a-head-hair-haver-ness. And I aspire to his moral compass.