💫Alyx @alyx@witches.town

@candle haha. marketing in a nutshell right there.

@candle are the blurbs they write more or less sincere, or just flowery garbo to fill the space?

but i imagine some poor Grocery Outlet employee being tasked with writing these fake-ass blurbs for random wines and i feel bad for the hand capitalism's dealt them

what is this style of smarmy-ass advert-writing called? because i hate it

first noticed it when i started going to trader joe's over a decade ago. many items had what looked like hand-written tags giving faux-homey advice like "try pairing with chicken or pork!" or "lush raspberry notes and an oaken finish!!" (i dunno, you get the idea)

i was taken in at first but then realized it was just another vector for advertising to creep into previously untainted headspace

now this shit is at NUMEROUS other stores (including GROCERY OUTLET!) and they are not always as "good" as TJ's at writing them so the more obvious artifice makes it somehow less appealing

@Xkeeper @sc the main trick is to disable the Windows Update service entirely, and then enable it when you want to grab the built-up updates.

there are a few other aspects, let me know if you want to get into the weeds

it's ridic we have to do all this, of course

just noticed this image conforms fairly well to facebook profile header image aspect ratio requirements

@staticsafe that's also real pretty, actually

@staticsafe to put it in layperson terms that's enough to hold 700 1MB dancing babies

i got four pretty, different-colored bell peppers a few days ago but while i didn't want to make my usual stuffed thingers i didn't have other ideas either

just gonna do this casserole thing i guess, minus the rice. what could go wrong

http://www.geniuskitchen.com/recipe/inside-out-stuffed-green-bell-peppers-98918

@swordjaw haha, that is where it belongs

and um, just saying if you ever want to say hi in person sampling this shit is possibly the best possible excuse to

i just noticed they say est. 2010, which is another thing: the "man cave" thing is dated as f. don't name yr company after passing fads

on fb my unoriginal shitpost comment got me cisplained

@djsundog @staticsafe @kepstin meanwhile, comcast cable, a monopoly, was down in oakland and other parts of the bay area for 23 hours starting at 1 a.m. monday

@pixelguff ugh, egg dad jokes

@swordjaw it's at the safeway at broadway and pleasant valley if you want some handcrafted man eats

@pixelguff i swear i've never called you egg dad before 30 seconds ago

@staticsafe it's the only show i've ever watched where by the end of the first season i have little to no idea where they're actually taking it

they also echoed my exact thought upon seeing jim henson's name on the logo

"I think Jim Henson would be rolling over in his grave if he knew this junk show had his name on it!"

at the pharmacy today there was this really cheap, bad-looking Finding Nemo ripoff playing on a TV ("Splash and Bubbles," on PBS) so i hate-googled reviews and found this amazing sentence

"My 3-yr-old vehemently refuses to watch this show (and I respect him for it)."