you know when cis people pointedly use "they" to refer to a trans person even when they already know that person's real pronouns? (i see chelsea manning getting this treatment today)
i have started to think of things like this as #cistricks
what are some other #cistricks?
@alyx Ooh ooh chronic "I'm just forgetful" but conveniently only about pronouns
Insisting on strict gender performance ie; women in skirts and long hair, men with short hair, justified as "just want to help you pass" - with all that shitty subtext
Generic technically-true-but-shitty justifications for fucking up, ie; "that's just how English is."
@thindol you have definitely seen a few #cistricks
@alyx GOD FORBID FOLKS TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR BEHAVIOR
My personal favorite so far is, "Well you don't look like X" after being corrected.
@thindol yikes.
@thindol "You don't look like a non-asshole either, but here I am treating you like one."
could use a little workshopping
"you're going out of your way to be offended, 'dude' and 'guys' are gender-neutral"
and also "man" now, horrifyingly. "oh, i say 'man' to everyone!" reasonable response: "well, please eat shit. i say that to everyone, politely."
#cistricks, overlapping with linguistic sexism that erases women
@alyx I don't have much of a problem with people saying dude if they're the kind of person who says dude all the time. Which is common in my circle.
Some people will address you the way you ask only when they speak to you, but constantly misgender and dead name you to your friends.
@frostotron oof. i hope that never happened to me. maybe i'm too naive.
@alyx I only know because said friends told me.
@frostotron i'm sorry people's suckiness affected you. :/
@alyx Its been a while. I have since moved to a super queer neighborhood, so things are way better now. :)
Some people will swear they support you, but then tell their friends that lgbt people are responsible for the decline of humanity mere moments later.
Claiming they "just forget" when they misgender you but then being all unhappy when you correct them, especially if it's in front of the other people who overheard the misgendering (and who therefore might decide you "changed your mind" or "aren't serious" if you *don't* correct).
Carefully avoiding using any pronouns at all to refer to you, rather than using the correct ones.
@woozle @alyx Misgendering you behind your back, which gives your classmates permission to continue misgendering you despite your frequent corrections. The trickiest. #cistricks
A professor did this to us for an entire fucking semester (after we’d sent him a goddamn email before the term even started) and we nearly left the university.
the funny part is, they often think trans people are deceptive, but they're the ones pullin' basic verbal tricks to hide their true feelings about us