@jplebreton i appreciate your sensitivity to this

while the emotional toll of pushing back is very real remember that it is usually less for a member of the offending/majority group than for a person in the minority/afflicted one

as is often pointed out, we truly need men to step up and police their own to effect the necessary change

@alyx totally agree. i promise myself ahead of time i'll say something when i see it so i can remember that when the time comes.

@thindol yes, totally

i learned VERY EARLY ON not to voice my objections over other people's micro/aggressions toward me because the reaction is always completely outsized and makes me feel like shit. boats remain unrocked, the status quo persists

@alyx It depends for me. If I have an established relationship, then I will - because worst case, they're going to flip out and then I know I don't want to be friends with them. Casual ones I often don't try, and usually just leave.

But we don't always have that luxury to leave (hi, work) because culture. :\

@thindol makes sense

sometimes it's actually easier for me to broach with newer people because i have less at stake, perhaps

with my family it's extremely difficult