@fjthom for me this is incontrovertibly tied up with my trans stuff; the concept of human bodies has always weirded me out on some level (due to above) with some bodies being good and some... less good, even bad. in this case instead of taking the journey together they become inherently incompatible. he is now irrevocably different, an outsider, freak, weirdo, etc. worst of all(?) he can't be "fixed"

i hate that a surprising amount and hopefully the gender transition parallels i'm drawing are obvious