@green I suppose I shouldn't say "period".

I make an exception: The chains I put on myself, to those I most admire and respect.

Even then, I reserve the right to break them. But sometimes being chained can be quite pleasant. But it requires trust and love.

@Ulfra_Wolfe *nodnodnodnod* yessssssssss, agreed so much.

@green @frameacloud I made my own gods. what really matters for a god is what they represent, not the personality. humanity puts a lot of their own foibles on gods. I choose what I venerate and what feels right. I venerate the High Ewe and the Primal Huntress, even though I haven't seen those names before. I don't trust myths passed down by storytellers that had their own biases

@Ulfra_Wolfe @green I've had a hard time inventing my own spirituality from scratch, due to only one (1) problem, which is this, and I hope you or someone might have some insight on it: For some reason, it doesn't feel the same if I made it up, than if it came from someone else. Seems like it should feel more legit to me of it's tailored to my own needs. But I end up feeling like it's more legit if someone else made it. My handwritten book of shadows feels haphazard and arbitary and less real, compared to an authoritative old textbook, even if I dislike the author or their message. It shouldn't feel like that, but it does. What is the knack for getting over this one hitch?

@frameacloud @green Some are drawn to more pattern than dynamism, but hmm. Thing is, what I interact with, doesn't feel arbitrary or less real to me at all. I venerate what I hold as *ideals*. What truly seems like it should exist. I venerate the tricksters that transform, the power (and intimidation) of rebirth, the simple acts of hedonism and the healing in coming together in joy.

The rest is just putting names to it and anthropomorphic representations that most fit me. Wolf and sheep most appeal to me, so Primal Huntress and High Ewe, respectively.

There's a reason why certain things draw me.

@frameacloud @Ulfra_Wolfe I'm not the best source for help here; I don't "believe" in deities, even the ones I kind-of believe in. the Loki-in-my-head is a firm proponent that he's a figment of my imagination. the version of Thoth that I talk to doesn't seem to have an opinion, or at least doesn't care enough to debate it. my spiritual praxis is firmly wedged in the junction between acceptance and deep skepticism. :]

@Ulfra_Wolfe @frameacloud thinking about it... I'm not sure *any* of my general spiritual beliefs are 100% self-made. "Terra" arguably came from Kaijima; "Rasha" started as a D&D character, in a very similar progression to how Loki-in-my-head went from movie character -> fanfic character -> "independent" headmate character. Thoth, Bast, Tiamat, even Crow (which isn't even properly developed at this point) are all obviously ideas that came to me from outside sources.

@frameacloud @Ulfra_Wolfe and now that I think about it, I feel like deriving spiritual stuff from outside sources is *less* authentic, that if it didn't come 100% from the inside of my own skull it's "obviously just copied from somebody else's stuff."

I guess I've just become *really* comfortable with working in that zone of spiritual/magical uncertainty. :]

@frameacloud @green I don't think that's true either. I have much inspiration from others. artists helped derive a lot of my ideas, every commission I've made there have been some alterations to the idea than I set forth -- but the characters that artists helped influence feel more real than the seed of an idea I started with. Nettle wouldn't be like she is without a lot of influences from the first artist I came to help with her, for instance.

@Ulfra_Wolfe @frameacloud just to clarify, I don't think it's *true*--it's just how I feel sometimes, part of my personal spiritual anxiety-web. XD

@green @frameacloud for instance, the High Ewe was inspired by Hazel. the Primal Huntress by Artemis and Lamb/Wolf from Kindred in LoL. The Devourer was inspired by a mixture of a dream I had about a living wolf constellation singing to me and ideas I got from various sources.

@Ulfra_Wolfe @frameacloud this is... giving me thoughts that I might write up and post over on that new DW I set up specifically for posting long-ish essay-type things. I will post a link here if I do!

@green @Ulfra_Wolfe I want to subscribe to your newsletter

@green @frameacloud spirituality suffers a lot of traditionalism, and so a lot of orthodoxy to make it "authentic". I'm not returning to the way people worshipped, I'm finding my own essence for it.

remember that you have power. what you feed, you empower. empower what you want, depower what harms you. to be a creative mind is to be a powerful mind.