Empathy and understanding is good to have, but remember that all the empathy & understanding for why someone does things in the world means nothing if they keep acting in abusive fashions with no moves to change.
I've lost friends over my own abusive behavior in the past, and that was on me, 100% on me. I changed a lot of my ways over time, but not everyone does, and nothing justifies the harm one did.
Also keep in mind that healthy relationships should flow both ways. Even if someone does not make any overt angry actions, if they take a lot of your resources and provide little to nothing themselves, that may as well be a toxic relationship.
Not to say all relationships should be based on whether someone is "useful", but if you're constantly straining physically, mentally, financially and they do little to lift your burdens, it's not a good sign of good things to come.
I'm trying to get better in my relationships with people and trying to get better at putting myself first if I need to.
@Ulfra_Wolfe this is such a real thread. thank you. I like to say to friends struggling with this that "an explanation isn't an excuse", and "put on your own air mask before helping others".
Meaning, it's good to be empathetic, but everyone is ultimately responsible for their own actions. and you need to do right by yourself and take care of yourself before you help others, or you'll both end up drowning.