So I'm at the Planning Phase and I realize "Hey you should probably go to the hospital for this" but lol Money and also how would anyone in my life take that?

Also how do I know I'm not a dirty, lying faker?

@ThatVeryQuinn 1) you're not a faker. Your feelings are real. 2) not getting help will hurt the people you care about more than admitting you need help will.

@Maenad I've just never felt like this before? Like, I've always been able to brush off being suicidal and ignore it and be a coward and not go through with it but things are Different Now.

@Maenad And tbh it kind of feels like going to the hospital this time would just be being a coward again.

@ThatVeryQuinn @Maenad Cowardice that prevents suicide doesn't seem like cowardice to me.

@Ulfra_Wolfe @Maenad :\

@ThatVeryQuinn @Maenad Hey, I won't lie. Living is hard. Making a decision to live is the hard thing. Dealing with depression, dealing with hardships, and if I'm not wrong, dealing with threats of poverty.

You've been strong to come this way.

I think you can stay strong, myself. And there's people out here rooting for you. Promise.

@Maenad @ThatVeryQuinn I kinda think of you as a Zarya given your icon, haha. Though I know you probably feel you can't live up to her, if you're like me.

But I doubt Zarya is strong all the time. Sometimes she probably feels weak, and she needs a friend to support her, too.

But the world is much less bright without a Zarya than with her.

I feel the same about you. :)

@Ulfra_Wolfe I mean, I can't really afford going to the hospital, and I get you on the Zarya thing it's just, I dunno.

I'm tired of trying to be happy all of the time, and I don't think things are ever going to be Better. I can't handle this.

Like, I know I need help but I can't bring myself to get it because of money and my job.

@ThatVeryQuinn If you can't go to the hospital, do absolutely whatever you can. Force yourself into a public space for a while to ride this out, maybe. Go for a walk. Do just about anything you can.

I think things will get better. There's a lot of factors in your life that can change. It just seems far off now -- but life can be wild, and severe changes can happen