show: what could be the goals to these alien abductions? the answer could lie... in our veins!!
me: *SCREAMING *

@TipsyTentacle please tell me this is about alien vampires

@gravezwave sadly, it wasn't. it was about infecting the human population with diseases.

@TipsyTentacle lame. the only good part of that is that we can accuse anti-vaxxers of being aliens trying to overthrow humanity

@gravezwave 👌 fight conspiracy with conspiracies~

show: NATO was an alliance made to defend the member nations against ALIEN INVASION.
me: *screaming*

show: the aliens tried to trigger nuclear war between the Cold War powers.
me: *screaming*

show: [...] but when the NATO fighters got there, they reported it was not Soviet aircrafts, but UFOs!!
me: *screaming*

show: aliens are watching us. we need to unite as one people against the aliens, so they don't invade us.
me: *screaming*

show: ANCIENT WONDERS WERE BUILT ON LEY LINES TO PROTECT EARTH FROM SPACE DANGERS. BUT ALIENS ARE DISRUPTING OUR LEY LINES TO DESTROY US
me: *SCREAMING LOUDLY*

show: BUT COUNTERPOINT: WHAT IF ALIENS BUILT THOSE ANCIENT WONDERS IN ORDER TO HARVEST ENERGY FROM LEY LINES, BUT THEY MOVED ON FROM THAT METHOD OF HARVEST
me: *SCREAMING*

show: BUT WHO TURNED OFF THE PYRAMIDS??
me: *SCREAMING*
show: the answer to that... may lie in the South Pole!!!!!
me: sCrEaMiNg*

show: The USA military found the entrance to inner Earth, but as the fighters tried to enter, they were attacked by UFOs!! And the aliens later released the captured pilots who were told they could not tell humanity of what happened.
me: SCREAMING

show: Whenever a UFO crash on american soil, black unmarked helicopters and black unmarked vehicles will approach the crash site. Then they will retrieve the UFO wreckage and transport them out of the area.
me: *secret undercover scream*

@TipsyTentacle What if the UFO is a black unmarked vehicular UFO?

Show : the Majestic 12 is behind the assassination of Kennedy.
Me : *screaming *

Show: are the governments hiding the truth to prevent mass panic? *shows anarchist protest *
Me: R U D E

@TipsyTentacle I really like how people of almost every political kind point to anarchist action of twenty years ago and go like "Yeah that's like me now" but the anarchist action of today is still like totally bad.

Show : all white people are the result of ancient alien-human hybrid experiments.
Moi: *screaming and laughing loudly at the same time *

@TipsyTentacle We so need to watch conspiracy theories while getting drunk some night.

@TipsyTentacle

experiment status: failed

@TipsyTentacle can't believe it's been scientifically proven that white people aren't real

@gravezwave have you ever seen a white person?! Huh?

@TipsyTentacle Wait, isn't that one basically Nation of Islam doctrine?

@troubleMoney possibly? I don't know too much about them, tbh.

@TipsyTentacle I'm always used to white people always using the alien conspiracy theories as basically ways to erase any accomplishments of non-white civilizations. Like you always get that shit abotu Egypt and the mayans and such about how ACTUALLY THE ALIENS DID IT. Like I especially always heard that stuff in here in the South in the trailer parks even before I got familiar with the internet.

@TipsyTentacle this entire thread is just pure mastodon gold i love it so much

@tcql @TipsyTentacle truth

@djsundog @TipsyTentacle

truth? or elaborate fiction designed by the government and/or aliens?!?!?!

the answer lies...
ON THE MOON

@tcql @TipsyTentacle HOLY WOWZERS

@tcql @djsundog @TipsyTentacle The answer only lies on the Moon? So the answer is truthful elsewhere?

@beadsland @tcql @TipsyTentacle you will have to ask my brother

@tcql @djsundog @TipsyTentacle But the moon is a hologram designed to keep people believing in a global earth, not a flat one.

@TipsyTentacle Though one of my favorites is when my brother made me watch an Alex Jones 9/11 truther doc in exchange for him giving me some weed. And like half way through it went into Arnold Schwarzenegger allegedly hiring gay sex workers and trying to run for president in a decades long plot by to prop up Nazisim. And it, and 9/11/ were all a plan by a satantic cult that runs the U.S. government.

@TipsyTentacle Like I think that shit was more trippy than the weed was.

@BadWrongFun what the heck, that is so out there.

@TipsyTentacle Your reactions to these are amazing

@TipsyTentacle No, we weren't. That caught us with our pants down.

@TipsyTentacle *extremely techbro voice* disrupt the leylines

@TipsyTentacle

https://socially.constructed.space/media/P3fXCjWbzx_j4ceiGFo

@TipsyTentacle maybe the aliens actually hacked the US election and made it just look like russians were involved!

@tcql wow, next level
is trump trading with alien vampires???

@TipsyTentacle trump; trades with alien vampires, is actually a reinvigorated egyptian mummy who feasts on the life energy of democrats by consuming their liberal tears, and secretly adopted a werewolf baby

maybe the russian missile test that killed those hikers and then got buried under an avalanche /WAS/ aliens....

@tcql @TipsyTentacle

@TipsyTentacle no that was mutants