poly question .... something in me kind of dislikes describing sbd as my primary bc i don't like making a "hierarchy" out of people ... but since i've been with my gf for 3 1/2 years and we live together and plan on marrying that kind of makes her my primary?? and we're mostly looking for a triad so does that even matter then? i don't know it's confusing

@punsandpotions I dunno, but I'm in the same boat. Even as a relationship anarchist it seems like there's no escape from the heirarchical labels.