I oftentimes wonder if I'm not a very clever facsimile of a human. I'm good at playing emotions. I wouldn't be able to tell you anything about what happiness or sadness feel like.
I can describe physical sensations though. Knots in my stomach belie a discomfort, perhaps even worry. I don't know what I'm getting at.
I also frequently wonder how capable I am of lying, manipulating and hurting people. People insist I am a bad liar. Or that I empathize too much to manipulate or hurt people. I'm not so sure.
Empathy is sticky. I don't get caught up in it the way people insist I do.
I am very good at playing normal.
Mental illness talk? Afficher plus
My therapist insists that this is all ptsd stuff.
She's trying to get me to start an emotion journal, and to compare how I feel to something readily accessible to better understand and pinpoint them.