@NewSammyChan I've known you for uh, less than 12 hours apparently, but you seem really nice.

[I'd usually say some nice words here and stuff but I don't know you enough to find the right words. all I can do is talk about myself/how I handle it. but that's been known to cause ideation on others so I won't.]

@SoniEx2 thank you. And any words of encouragement are always appreciated. I try and be there for anyone. But every now and then. Just have it where nothing is happening and I get those thoughts. This is why I get myself in to trans activism and do other things.

@NewSammyChan life isn't a game and suicide (or rather, death) is the end goal. there's no point in rushing it, tho. enjoy yourself, because that's all that really matters.

(I don't think life is a game, but this is the closest analogy I can come up with...) is a game really finished if you don't finish the achievements?

@SoniEx2 so true. And I’m not at a suicidal level. I haven’t been like that in over 18 years. But I do wish I came out so much sooner. Seeing all of these young ones doing at a young age what I should have done but was too scared to do.... I’m happy for them. But......

@NewSammyChan it's ok!

I'm out to my family and like one or two IRL friends. I want HRT. but the process is (currently) so complicated that I'm just... idk it's just so much effort that I'd rather wait because I know it'll always be there and I can just do it.

but currently it's more effort than I can handle. and so I wait. dissociation helps me deal with dysphoria. etc. it's uh not great but once I get tired of this or once the process gets easier then I'll go for it.

(don't try to push me, I'd love to do it, I just can't. it's ok. you're ok, too.)

@SoniEx2 well if you want to ever talk about it. I’m here on.

You get to the point like I did that makes you think. I have to get stuff done.

I’m not going to push you. Just let you be you. My message box is open if you need it. :-)

@NewSammyChan I know there's a pretty big chance I'll regret this later, but I also know even if I do I'll still be ok. this isn't the first time I do something I later regret.

@SoniEx2 you will be fine. And the ear is there if you need it.

Same as I am ok. Sometimes I need just to yell things in to the void when I have thoughts like this. Just put it out there.