@ThatVeryQuinn Ugh. I can relate hard to the questioning and desire to reconcile, to give 2nd (3rd & 4th) chances.

Things went bad between my penultimate ex & I once I realised she was gaslighting me & manipulating both me and our mutual partner. Exacerbated by chronic pain, in my case.

Mistakes were made, all around. I was avoidant. Our mutual was avoidant. We didn't address our problems & it blew up on us.

I'm sorry to hear things were, arguably, even ickier for you ∑:s