Phanaeus Damon @Phanaeusdamon@witches.town

He got back to me shortly after I posted this, so things maybe ain't so bad.

Fell asleep on the sofa after breakfast. Days are blurring together. It's confusing. Lack of communication from my new flatmate is perturbing.

@h3xtacy cool. I can probably chat properly next week :)

36 things on the to-do list that ain't directly about work for uni. Fuuuuck. Oh well.

@h3xtacy thank you 👍

I need to eat so bad. Why do I do this to myself. Trying to convince myself to explain why I can't do what's asked of me, to beg without begging, to ask for what I have to ask for. I'm sick and tired of this. I keep going. Why is it so hard to make myself do things that will help me. I'm exhausted. I don't know how long I can keep going like this.

I'm so angry and there's nothing I can do about it

Any good people I should be following on here?

sore dick

@h3xtacy hey I've blocked myself from Twitter atm but remembered I did not chat to you more re zine things - lemme know if you'd like to do so! :)

I think I use my phone too much https://witches.town/media/lRT1PzO8X9AW-vYLMSU

@h3xtacy dang

@h3xtacy :(

And yet to motivate myself in either thing, to have the confidence to just *do the thing* seems so beyond me, whatever I thought yesterday or the day before.

Whatever I felt. Oh to feel things that weren't utter shit or numbness. Or minor, brief relief. Hunching over like I always do. What a fuck. I want to hate myself less. I'd like to feel rested. I'd like to feel my age, not twice it. I'd like so many things. And yet. I want to do things, help people. With pictures???

Sitting in my uni library in the same chair for the last 3.5 hours trying and failing to make decisions. I'm getting stuck inside my own head again. Maybe typing this will help, maybe not. I don't know what to do. Yet again I have a choice to make and I can't choose. i have reached out to people who know me for advice but it's like this is just entrenching the confusion.

I'm getting hungry and i know the longer I leave it the worse my head is going to get too.

I'm going to be 27 this year. I started my BA in 2012. I suspect I may have to repeat at least one module. I don't know if I will have to pay for it. I may not graduate until next year. Lol. I don't feel good at all.